Make them want to help you

Instead of telling or forcing others to help and work for you, make them want to work with you and extend help even without you asking.

This is obviosuly very hard to do, and will require a lot of thoughtfulness on your end. You may have to try really hard to control your frusturation sometimes, as some people really do suck sometimes.

But this is not for those people. Eventually they will leave, and no longer be in your life.

If you care to understand others’ stories, where they are coming from, their motivations, and most importantly help them out first, those who you want to keep around you will come around sooner or later to pleasantly surprise you with their generosity and care.

The reality is, when there are no clear incentives, it’s hard to expect people to act on behalf of others. So don’t get too attached to that kind of expectation, as you will surely be betrayed by that expectation. And also know that it’s not other people’s faults that your expectation was betrayed. That is something you can control yourself.

Expect less, and be the person you want in your life first. This way, when somebody actually helps you out, you will have an easier time realizhing how beautiful, rare, and important those moments and relationships are to you.

Written on September 10, 2019